The Wedding Orator

Anton Checkhov was a Russian writer who is notable for the principle “One must not put a loaded rifle on the stage if no one is thinking of firing it.” popularly called Checkhov’s Gun

(Burn Notice creator Matt Nix produced a hilarious, meta-referential short film in his earlier days titled Chekhov’s Gun)

He was very prolific and among his many works are a number of awesome short stories. My favorite that I came across is a short called The Orator.

I wrote this short inspired by The Orator.

Yiriam and Dex fell in love in the magical way most people believe is just fairytale—fast and hard over a beautiful spring weekend.

  

They set off to get married in a place equally as quick when it comes to love—Las Vegas—with the ready-made services to cater for such unions.

 

After getting their marriage licenses at City Hall, they headed back to the hotel to get ready for the occasion. It was scheduled for a few hours later.  

 

About 15 of their friends and relatives were able to join them for the ceremony on such short notice.

 

Yiriam and Dex got ready in their hotel room as the wedding hour crept up.

 

Suddenly, Yiriam started sobbing.

 

“I just realized, there won’t be any wedding speeches.” She cried.

 

“… speeches?”

 

She sniffed, “Well, it’s silly but one thing I always loved about a traditional wedding was the speeches.”

 

She gazed off in imagination, “Our friends getting up on stage to recall what lovely times we had. Cracking jokes about things we used to do. Reminiscing on all our silly memories and antics. But our friends don’t even know each other… and I don’t want to push back the wedding!”

 

She burst into tears.  

 

Dex stared up at the ceiling and thought for a while.

 

“You know, somehow Vegas always has a quick fix,” he smiled.

 

“Huh?” Yiriam looked confused.

 

He held her chin and raised her head to look up at his.

 

“I’ll fix it. You just come in looking stunning.”

 

She smiled.

 

----

 

The wedding hour arrived.

 

An intimate ceremony with but 15 guests -- all close friends and family of the bride and groom, as many were available on such short notice.

 

The officiant, a dapper, pudgy man of 53, sang and danced his way toward the podium in a red suit and tie and bronze derby shoes. A blonde, bearded man of good nature.

 

He stood behind the podium and half-sang, half-preached a fiery sermon about the magic of love, how to dance through years of marriage, keeping a flaming blaze in romance and more. It went on for 15 minutes.

 

“Now’s the best part, folks. The sealing of this union with a ki—"

 

The doors burst open and in walked a debonair slender man. He sauntered toward the front of the room, in blue suit and shades, as the audience stared in perplexment.

 

The officiant stood frozen in confusion.

 

They were all confused, save for Dex who stood there with a big proud grin on his face.

 

He smiled at Yiriam, “This is the guy who’s going to give you your wedding speech.”

 

She grinned.

 

Dex continued, “He’s the orator, but with a twist. Makes a living crafting memories for speeches. It makes quick romances like ours feel like it had more history.”

 

They both smile.

 

The orator approached the podium, “If I may, pastor, I’d like to say a few words.”

 

Dapper man nodded in astonished subservience and skittered off to the side.

Now behind the podium with mic in hand, the orator began.

 

He spoke with a crisp, smooth voice.       

 

“A fairy tale of friendship. That’s what commenced this love.”

 

The room was captivated.

“Blossomed by the support of their circle of friends. What more fitting way to seal this union than by dedicating a few minutes to the bonds of friendship that brewed this romance.

 

How did this young love come to be?

 

Perhaps, it was the unforgettable poetic bar nights. Listening to enchanting poems under neon lights embraced by jazz music. Celebrating the talents of besties who loved displaying their poetic prowess that, perhaps, helped spark the flame of Jane and Ryan.”

 

He gestured to the bride and groom as he said Jane and Ryan, then continued.

 

“Or was it the city-scape roof-top night-time picnics?

 

Watching movies and telling jokes from the amateur comedian of the bunch. Where Shannon once got so inebriated, she mistakenly called them mr. and mrs. all throughout the night.

 

She picked on those two by mere happenstance! Yes, Jane and Ryan were lucky in love.”

 

He told of weeks-long road trips, southern country ranch open-sky camping, and spooky camping nights. Memories so varied it could not have taken less than the span of two years!    

 

Melodious speech that melted even the most doubtful into gentle warm, nostalgia.  

 

Yiriam stargazed into Dex’s eyes, happy tears rolling down her face. “This is magical.”

 

Dex smiled back at her, then he winced.

 

“Are you gonna tell him?” Yiriam asked, stifling giggles.

 

Dex looked back at the orator.

 

Then he looked at two of his friends in the audience, who were blushing bright red.

 

While everyone enjoyed the stories, moments so vivid it made even the most detached break a smile, they also wondered why he kept saying “Jane and Ryan”, who were the tomato-faced friends sitting in the audience, and not only were they NOT married, but they didn’t even know each other!

 

The orator continued, “And so, these friends were not surprised when at last at the sunset dinner Ryan proposed to Jane—"

 

Dex interjected awkwardly and whispered something into his ear.

 

He pointed toward his two friends sitting in the crowd – the actual Jane and Ryan – stiff as logs as others smiled in amusement.

 

Snickers could be heard in the audience as the speech maker, unfazed, simply readjusted and continued on now saying “Yiriam and Dex”, as if he’d been doing just that all along.

 

LATER

 

After the wedding, the celebration continued at a bar.

 

The speech was the object of drunken hilarity and chatter.

 

People who previously had no clue the other existed, were chatting as though they had known each other for years.  

 

The speech was quite the ice-breaker. What better way to have a good time than with strangers who suddenly found themselves with shared pasts and experiences.

 

Talking like old chums, then afterward, casually asking the name of the person they were just speaking with.

 

One thing was left to do: go out and live these memories.